i feel like i'm in a dream. i don't know what to do. so i do nothing. i do not want this, but can think of no other way to free us each from this bs we've made. you think i do want it. just for the sake of it happening, and that hurts me a lot.

could he really have been the better boyfriend to you? well then, good luck. are you really not proud of me at all? well, then... good luck. and i mean that. good luck.

kate asked if i'd change bedrooms with her, and i jumped at the opportunity. yes yes yes. there's no way in hell i'll stay in that room without you. i am somebody to be proud of. i'm sure i must be. i think i must live towards that.

sad.. angry... sad... angry... sad... angry... which is it? i wish i'd pick. you think i want to be single. that that just might be all this is? i wish you were right, but again, you are not.