DAY 94: LOSS ACHES
i do not wish to be angry any longer. at anyone. it's not working. i will ultimatly be blamed for pushing them away with my anger regardless of their actions.
sometimes... and by sometimes... i mean often; life is way not fair. i think it could feel better to be okay with that. to keep trying and keep striving... but to be okay with the fact that sometimes it's just not going to be fair.
today was the closest i have come in.. apparently... 94 days to smoking a cigarette. i can feel the loss and the ache and the frustration going through my veins, it feels like. it feels as tho the tops of my hands are bubbling underneath.
the funny thing is... so then i shut a door and my last remaining ashtray (for guests)... fell and shattered all over the place.
there will be no cigarette smoked today.
sometimes... and by sometimes... i mean often; life is way not fair. i think it could feel better to be okay with that. to keep trying and keep striving... but to be okay with the fact that sometimes it's just not going to be fair.
today was the closest i have come in.. apparently... 94 days to smoking a cigarette. i can feel the loss and the ache and the frustration going through my veins, it feels like. it feels as tho the tops of my hands are bubbling underneath.
the funny thing is... so then i shut a door and my last remaining ashtray (for guests)... fell and shattered all over the place.
there will be no cigarette smoked today.
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