EXHAUSTED

so i took alijah to the doctor today and we dropped 180.00 that we don't have on allergy meds coz around his eyes are all red and spots on his skin. they did some tests and i have to go back on tuesday and maybe they'll have a better answer about what is going on...

we just moved in2 this place. is the cleaner they used on the carpets to blame? can i sue their asses. i kid.

feels like everything is just falling 2 pieces.

v is a hot mess of depression over his job and our move in general.

where exactly do i have the time to breath and come to terms with my mom's death?

i feel like there is NOBODY. i have GOT to pull my shit together. i have to get a job and i have to make sure i am protected.

i feel like i just can't count on him. does everyone feel this way after a loss? i don't want to hear about or even try to console him about his stupid everyday to day bullshit. shouldn't he be consoling me?

i've tried not to be upset. but he comes out mopes about depresses me and himself and then goes back in2 his room.

help!? distract me from the way i feel? nothing. just his pitty party.

life is fucked up ain't it. we don't want to admit our lives suck. but sometimes, they do. and it shines through, and no matter what the hell you're dealing with you gotta step up to the plate and battle it. we all deserve better.