CLOSET CLEANING

this guy i once dated way up @ the begining of our relationship had said that he had to "clean out his closet." being me, i was way way way too naive at the time 2 have any idea what he meant by it so i just giggled and stared into his pretty eyes and ignored yet another phone call from a friend of mine.. i'm sure.

i get it now what he meant...

but he was not too far off from a hooker.

so i kinda am developing my own definition of what "cleaning out the closet" might mean in my own life...

like i mean... taking this time to ask myself the hard questions
and to figure out where i want to be and who exactly i have turned out to be.

work on the body... no but really. the soul.. the wallet...

healing through betterment.

i don't think i have to be and look and act sad to prove that i have loved and lost someone.

i don't think i need to sit here and wait for someone who's not coming "home."

i think i need to do whatever it is I would do in a time like this.

like rent all the episodes of drop dead diva on netflix and get a really large glass of red wine and learn to enjoy myself.

this me in this body.

the other options... missery and sadness and waiting... they're just - and it's hard to say this - not options anymore.