how does/when does the idea of someone being there, forever become horrific? when it was all you were longing for... is all that you are longing for, your most fear? does your mind change, or do your eyes open? do you see less, or more as you experience life?

this is where we decide, we will not lie down. we will not stop, and we will not die. we will change. "what you get is to be changed." - jorie grahm.

is new york the other man in my life? how would anyone compete, then? ...am i so simple? or is there more? what is the real truth, unspoken? ...tap tap tap...

what i do know, is we are all here for now, and we have the power to do with it what we will, and want. and where we are all heading is where we are all heading... be it heaven or hell, or all and everything that is between. and you cannot pretend, any longer. you must go and be yourself. this is what i've learned. if you are strong enough, yourself will always get the best of you. and when you let it, then your life can truley begin.

or so i believe.