MY LITTLE BROKEN 2008

last day of the year folks!

it's one that perhaps is best left to being carefully folded up and put in a box. best not looked at directly. could go blind like looking into the sun...


things to be great full, of course...

1. the return of "do-able" gas prices
2. madonna's "hard candy" album
3. someone who i wanted to win the US presidency actually won this year.
4. my trip home in august.
5. mama mia!

things to be great full that it's over...

1. the palin fiasco, for sure
2. katy perry
3. prop 8
4. economic crisis.
5. longest running ear-ache of my life (thank god it's over!)

..........bringing in 2009 very quietly. of course all part of the plot =)!!

happy new year everybody.

US RADIO

quality of song seems to matter nil in the us radio market.

madonna holds the record for the highest debut in 1992 (or did hold it, not sure if she still does..) for the shitacious single "erotica." "4 minutes" which was repulsive was one of her largest singles ever by sales comparisons earlier in the year.

her new single "miles away," probably the best thing she's put out since... gosh... since, i dunno... "don't tell me" (i loved the american life album but not so much the lead single...) is struggling and growing very small.

she's rejected on the radio and i wonder what has happened...

are we in such a freaky society that age matters for radio... coz i really did think it was about the music?

if you listen sofltly though, you can hear madonna telling us all just who wins because she just wrapped up the highest money making grossing tour EVER by a female...

yin apparently doesn't equal yang.

..THEN I BEGAN TO LAUGH... THE KIND YOU DO WHEN YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA BE OK... AND THAT'S ALL I REALLY HAVE TO SAY...

for sure life is full of changes. lots and lots of them. some of them are absurd and unnecessary but happen anyway. some are for the better. some are for the worse.

sometimes the same changes that were once amazing and exciting are very frightening. paralyzing even.

searching our whole life for answers when the answers shift and change and are never the same. i think in the end perhaps, the best way to live is to do just that. live.

REDEFINING TRADITIONS...

in the full blown hours of my latley ever present insomnia, i typed in the words "christmas alone" into the google search bar.

secretly longing for family that lives way too far away and job requirements and spice it up with the fact that i live alone and that all of my friends basically hate one another.... the season looks rather bleak.

i'm sponsoring a little girl who's a bit over a year old named victoria. baby victoria is from an abusive household and now living in a shelter. i'm going to get her some gifts and send some cards to my nieces. perhaps even my nephew.

but that doesn't stop me from fearing that as these years pass by... will eventually there just be no more christmas left in me at all?

will it just be another day?

one which you live through quickly?

am i a freak? is there anyone else out there like me?

google says yes. google says over 20 percent of households are single persons. google says that most of us only have 2 close confidants... down from 3 in 1985. after these past few years, its easy to understand why...

google says that there's a whole helluva lot of us that are living miles and miles away from our confidants and families.

google was right on target with me as they suggested decorating my house and getting a tree... celebrating anyway. coming up with some traditions of my own (the eggnogg drunk sounds quite fab to me... )

figuring other traditions out also. and so now there IS something to look forward to. i shall pioneer through this holiday season which is celebrated around a day that the world was given hope (christians anyhow...)

i like hope. i can celebrate that.

so merry christmas and happy holidays to all those people out there that noone else is saying it to you.

we can redefine these things. we can still celebrate hope.

i get my hope tree this weekend. settled.

CREATION & HOLIDAYS...

recording studio is being set up. almost complete. lots of new things to learn about it. i've made a couple acapella demos messing with sounds and distortions. very fun time. makes sense of why i'm living alone and why i pay so much in rent.

other than... it's the holidays. sometimes it feels like it, sometimes not. i'll embrace the times when it does feel like it. feels good.