I DO LOVE MY COUNTRY, AND OH HOW I AM FREE!

i just recorded a spoken word (my new infatuation) of my piece "protect me." i haven't gotten a lot of feedback from it, but i think it's one of the best pieces i've written in a while. the recording is quite passionate and i recorded it on my new EVR. How do you take the recording from your mp3 recorder and put it on your computer to upload to your myspace?

i'm curious? i'm ready. i don't have any instrumental backing, but that could be easily rendered. if anyone knows (brad) lemme know. soon.

iBLOG

today we woke up smiling at each other. coffee and juice and the onto our days. he up to phoenix with the guys.

me, to my homework, and - excuse me, but when did saturday turn into laundry day (ick)? i rummaged around thrift shops this morning, looking for work clothes and maybe a good book. i love the titles of books. i always choose books based on their titles. i'll pick it up if i like the title and read the discription on the back and then decide if that's the one or not.

never by author, always by title.

bought a digital voice recorder today. i'll tell everyone it's for school, but i'm totally into EVP's right now. i could use a good spook. might be my first step, also, in recording again. it's a bigger step than i've made in about 6 years.

i lived in portland, maine when i recorded "no more love." and that was before i moved to florida, or EVER stepped one foot in new york city for more than a day or so.

i wish i could find copies of those old recordings. that'd be sooo cool to go through them all now.

cringe at what i had sounded like, or impressed with what i had created.

anyway - i'm stalling. i'm off to finish my essay now.

TRUTH OR DARE

...am i missing something?

what do i need?

does anyone ever stop to ask themselves these questions from time to time? our bodies give us warning signs. our minds do the same. asking us to stop a second to listen, and then not only hear what we ourselves are saying to ourselves... but to be proactive about solving the issue.

i know that you can read and read and know exactly why you do and say and act the way you do. i know you can know yourself fully, and still not be able to use your own gears to get your body to do as you wish.

illusions in our minds - good ones and bad ones - play tricks on us. so, what does our body really need? are we really missing anything? or, just messing with ourselves?

i listen to my friends. i listen to myself. i KNOW someone elses problems are always so much easier to fix, then your own. "if i were them, i'd have this all taken care of in a week."

it's the illusions and mindtricks we play on ourselves.

i've done what i should. and when i've a few tools under my belt... then should i do what i dare???

OH MR SUNSHINE

78 hours last week alone at work. explains the dramatic way i was feelin in my last blog quite clearly, doesn't it? =)

nice to have a couple days off... but it all starts up again tomorrow at 8am.
weekend has been nice. out for drinks with all the boys last night. gave myself a little homohawk for the occasion... i thought it was funny, everyone else thought it looked good. oops.

finished my short paper on narrative and emailed it in a few minutes ago. odd that homework is emailed these days.

last we left off with jamie in a school... computers were a waste of time. this time around, you can bring your laptop to class with you... and it's actually not a bad idea.

ahh, but for the love of caffene... i find myself with nothing really to say. life is alright. my baby palm tree is growing quite fine. relationshipville is peacefull and quiet...

and!! kevin le black wants me to write lyrics for a peice he's written. very cool opportunity. my first real oportunity of the sort.

my life is oddly being centered on writing right now. how interesting!


"hungry and frozen
it's the life that we've chosen...
how we gonna pay?"

AND WE WANT YOU TO SLEEP WELL TONIGHT...

i feel overwhelmed. everyone at work has a flu, or is getting over one... and i wonder if it isn't just that i'm getting a bit ill and actually i'm not overwhelmed... and everything is fine?

my first essay for class is due. i stare blankly not having any idea what it's going to be about.

i work constantly. i'm trying to make it a better place to work. actually firing the people who don't show up, and simply don't have the decency to call. i'm retraining the entire swing crew one by one. i am putting up an employee recognition board. no idea what i'm going to do with it, yet... but i'm putting it up.

incentives. and consequences. it's what it's about right?

i took on a lot this summer. i'm starting to feel it. i am not stopping and i am not giving anything up. and i am not complaining.

but for tonight... just a little overwhelmed. a bit tired.

i wish well for you all.

GET OUT THE MAP

long week at work. we all went out last night, to celebrate friday... jon, seth, kevin the black, and i... a fun night. we discussed doing something adventurous this weekend, but didn't know what. the guys had previously went to a cave on the other side of mt lemon... you had to take a jeep trail (luckily seth has one) to get there.... peppersauce cave.

said i would love it. kevin the black did NOT love it, and so he wasn't going... but the rest of us were in.

so this morning, we set off... took the sides off the jeep and headed into the great outdoors.

the trail was awesome.. mt lemon is what? 6 thousand feet up above tucson, and then down over the back side on dirt roads. the monsoon's have been good this year and there was a lot of green. a lot of clay (mud) and lots of running little brooks.

a very welcome change from the dry city.

we finally got to the cave. you had to crawl on your belly to get into it... and then it opened up like a pitch black grand ballroom... there were different rooms and UNDERGROUND ponds!!

very exicitng. seth and i both got light headed as the air is a bit harder to breathe in there... but it was imressive. lots of rooms to find, and then there's always your way back that you are looking for. in one of the back rooms we turned our flashlights off for a while so we all could just listen.... black nothing. and little dropplets of ground water falling into the underground lakes... wonderful.

a very cool day. a nice change from the runaround of school and work. reaffirmed a thing about arizona... it's so diverse! go from dry desert to lush green valleys and bubbling brooks in less than an hour...

incredible!

I DON'T KNOW WHY

I don't know why
The sky is so blue
And I don't know why
I'm so in love with you
But if there were no music
Then I would not get through
I don't know why
I know these things, but I do
I don't know why
But somewhere dreams come true
And I don't know where
But there will be a place for you
And every time you look that way
I would lay down my life for you
I don't know why
I know these things, but I do
I don't know why
But some are going to make you cry
And I don't know how
But I will get you by, I will try
They're not trying to cause you pain
They're just afraid of loving you
I don't know why
I know these things, but I do
I don't know why
The trees grow so tall
And I don't know why
I don't know anything at all
But if there were no music
Then I would not get through
I don't know why
I know these things, but I do
I don't know why
I know these things, but I do

shawn colvin. this one is for patience and seren

MORE FLAIR!!

My results came back today for the National Restaurant Association Educational Foundation Servesafe Essentals test i took. That exhaustingly long class was worth it apparently as i actually passed the test.

I can die now. Orrrrrrrrr........ I can pat myself on the back. I'm a restuarants wetdream now. LOL

In other higher learning news...

my first assignment for my writing class was handed back to me today to fix a few things... my margins were not properly set. who gives a damn what i actually wrote about... but my margins weren't right.

whatever.

the weekend (which wasn't a weekend at all. i had monday and tuesday off this week was great. drinks and food and friends. schedule change... now i have weekends off... so i am off again on friday!! yay! bring on the weekend! TGIF actually applies to me (i think for the first time ever...). ANNDDDD i'm pretty sure we're going camping in bisbee!

A SECOND... WHICH IS ALL THAT IS ALLOWED

golly jeeze! i work a lot.

i mean... a lot! but, it's now saturday night. 8:12. i got out of work about a half hour ago. i'm chugging down coffee, and then i'm off to have korean food with jon at 9, and then out for drinks after that...

um, what else? israel. been reading, studying, learning a lot about israel. i recommend that you do too. if you don't know much about it. there is so much more in this life to know... much more, that will make so many other things instantly make sense.

8:35... time to go. i wish you all well!