FIRST DAY OF CLASS....

room 125. west campus. barbara green, instructor. rincon building: building F. got it. boots... start walking. (sandals, rather...)

and the clock kept ticking (it was my cell phone, actually... so it didn't really tick... ) closer to 6:10. my first class. my writing class. THE writing class. i was horrified. sandals, and backpack, and a good hair day (thank you god for that one. i mean, you really came through for me there!!! thanks for the hair today, if for nothing else. thank you for the hair!) ..

the PCC campus is quite concrete. i mean, it's got a modern feel to it... but it's not very colorfull. the modern sharp edges of the large concrete buildings behind the palm trees guarding it from the vast parking lot, look quite impressive. but not intimidating. it's easy to tell that if not for the imported palms in the desert... most of it would be quite unatractive. quite desperate.

i looked up at the building. it needed me. it was nothing standing there without me in it. i had to go in.

and into room 125 i went. i sat in my little desk chair, wrapped my ipod up in itself... and took out my brand new walgreens notebook. today was a special day for me. i looked around at the class room. good mix of people. the shaved head on the british guy with the great accent. the hot mexican girl next to me with the zip up street kid pants...

the wal mart dark blue jeans and brown polo braniac behind me.... who quickly established himself as the "i wanna be the teachers favorite" guy. the countless others. the token hot guy. and then... me.

all sitting there... as barbra green began appearing without sound on the chalk board in white....

i felt it sinking in, sitting there in my little desk/chair... i hated her. before she even turned around.

her and her big mohawk hair do, and her big big butt...

but then she turned around...

and for those of you who are wondering???

i HAD A GREAT TIME IN CLASS!!! EVERYONE WAS GREAT... IT WAS A GOOD TIME!

outtie.

ENROLLED!

i did it. enrolled in class for the fall. class starts monday. excited, and horrified... not for the class or if i'll fail or not... but the first day. the first time walking into the place...

i wish you could still have your mom hold your hand through some things....

been studying all night for the work classes. micro-organisims. this is the real way to lose weight. you wont ever wanna eat again, after you read up about all the shit that lives in foods and what it can do to you...

jon and seth and kevin and i went out last night for drinks and coffee. they were giving away a laptop at the bar... noone won anything, but there was a dragqueen with huge - huge - boobs singing 9-5. well worth it!

off to bed outside tonight on the futon. my courtyard is the coolest thing ever! life is good..

seth and terry's test results came back fine =) good stuff.

TOWARDS BETTERMENT....

so far it's been a pretty cool weekend. went to my bosses 53rd birthday party last night. jon went with me. shelly and carmen and tara came too... mary corona... and a bunch of terry's extended family... itzel, terry's partners little 2 year old was there. itzel is my girl, she's so adorable. she only wears highheal princess shoes... i've never seen her in anything but. she's so cool. she gave me a high five, and then after i slapped her hand, she held out her fist to hit fists with me... i laughed sooo hard. i looked at miguel, terry's son, and he started smiling... clearly his influence on the little princess... hey, she's gotta take care of herself right?

i have 2 classes this week for work. 20 hours of school for my employment. and then classes for college start on the 23rd...

i'm hoping at least one thing that i'm doing right now is in the interest of a better life for me in the future... all i need is for just ONE thing to click... just one thing.

DRESSED FOR SUCCESS

"let me know when your whole life goes up in smoke. that means it's time for a promotion." - devil wears prada....

it's 1:19am. i have to be at work at 3. terry's going to show me how to do "end of week." she wants me to run the day shift (the more important shift at the store) while she is away. she likes me. she even said that cliche movie bullshit "you remind me of me." (dear lord...). it's going to piss the other managers off, of course... the new guy gets days...

such is life. uncomfortable, and bitchy. i feel on the edge of something strange. a choice in my life in which i either take one road, or the other road...

do we in the end, actually really become our jobs? by definition? and the rest of our lives work around that?

i'm looking forward to the money, i cannot lie. i'm looking forward to the dress up game... i think i'll look pretty hot. ...and that's me saying those things.

god save the queen, and her many many different selves.

1 + 2 = 5 ?

work work work work work... the balance - the mathematic equation that works for maintaining a social life and a rigorus work life is completly lost on me... and so i find myself - after staying put in the same town for longer than i ever would have before.... getting more and more of both sides of it. social life... and work.

i'm proud of both. i've worked hard for both...

and i'm sooo sooo tired =)) it should all be quite horrible. but it's actually satisfying.

...and now, school starts again on the 23rd - yikes!

...mom had a minor stroke. didn't tell me about it for a few months. must work on letting people know i've a capacity much greater than i let on. not to mention... family first, right?

my thoughts tonight to my mom.
to seth, who found a growth.
to terisita, who found a growth.
to lori, who found a growth.

yes, i'm scared but i am hopefull and sure of each of you.

AND THEN I MET TIFFANY...

so... last friday we all hop in the jeep and take off for San Diego...

Seth, Kevin the black, Jon, and myself. I wasn't sure what kinda time it would be.

gay pride san diego... i'd heard tiffany AND deborah gibson were playing shows and i've been a fan of both of them for... for how long? yikes!

both did not dissapoint. very cool concerts... had an awesome time!

going to pride events always skeeves me out a bit. i watch people being revolting individuals, or rude, or ... or something.. i'm not sure. i would think that in the interest of what a pride weekend is supposed to be about, everyone would be in tune with their humanity....

stand up for eachother, and be as one... it's not the case, ever... although sometimes there are seconds of the emotion that should be behind it...

i'd like a humanity weekend... where being tollerant and good to one another is the theme... no matter gay or straight, or whatever else we all might be...

regardless, the weekend was a blast. we rented a 4 seater bike cart... and peddled all over coronado island... we rode in little carrages carried by hot boys on bikes...

we danced... we laughed, we drank.... thank you guys for a MUCH NEEDED good time!