the world is on fire...

there are a total of 20 wild fires currently in arizona... illegals and homeless people are dropping like flies... litterally... the numbers are getting scary. airline flights are being cancelled due to heat out of las vegas and phoenix at a rate of 7 or more a day... and now the heat is breaking... and enter now, the monsoons....

monsoons are insane buckets of rain that just drop on the desert until we're all flooding on side streets and lightning is wild dancing from one cloud to the other... and the crazy thing about it is, is that it all happens so quickly that nobody has time to even really get out of the way, before they are swept across the desert, only to dry up in about an hours time.... impressive as it is, it's a bit scary... the rain is welcome though, don't even kid, and the smell of creosote when it does rain, is the best smell i can think of... next to those homemade rolls mom used to make back in maine.

weather aside.... life simply goes on whether or not... (yikes!) and last night was dawns birthday. a very cool chick that seth used to work with. she's now an EMT. her and her girlfriend, seth and i, and their little boy, and his friend all went out for italian, and then out to the dance clubs - subtract the kids... it was a fun night, a bit strange, but lots of fun...

i work the rest of the weekend at the new restuarant. a relief in itself, that it is no longer - nor will ever be again - denny's.... and that, on weekends i must wear a bow-tie is but a small price to pay for that.

the menu for the other job is going great. it's strange that i pushed so hard and so far at denny's, and came home everyday feeling like i was not listened to, and disrespected, and feeling so used.... and now, i create menu's for other restaurants. there must've been something in me that they had overlooked....

so - that's about update enough, kids? good. enjoy your weekend - stay out the heat!

Fog & Thought

“FOG AND THOUGHT”
Your west side piers call to me
With fog and thought from time to time…
And so to, the cobblestone, that shod
Avenues at night, when they’re mine…

Your dirty harbors much more shallow
Than I would like to have thought
With tight torso and drunken grin, had promised
Much more than what was tossed from the buildings and bus stops…

I’ve grown to inward drifting
Like fog and thought; you go through me…
I stand grey upon the ocean front
Surrounded by one-ways, and over priced coffee…
A tall fierce building, seen from ships afar…
Seen clearly, after the fog and thought, forgive and thus depart…

I had drempt myself countless times, with
Countless novels, my only companion in a row boat out at sea…
The knowledge that the world would still spin
With, and with little doubt, without me…

And I’d sail directionless through the fog and thought
Never a destination, never one regret
And my plan has worked perfectly
Without flaw, and without gain, except…

Now older, I seem to recall, I was not in the row boat,
The view was not from within…
I had never once saw the ocean, just the boy alone,
Drifting…
I was on shore. I was watching him.
And he I would soon find,
In many I have met
And still I’d be on the shore, trying to be kind…

And so I will stand firm
One thousand stories high…
Unmoved by fog and thought
Coming in from the seaside…
It’s just another day, and by noon
The sun will shine,
Clear blue skies, and water,
All just to be mine…

And to play, I will write it out,
But clearly, I have seen (yet again),
Your piers never made me a poetJust a boy who has strange dreams…

Strange and new things.

i feel it.... it's coming....

The Dunbar Project

i wanted to put a link to this site. i'm considering doing some work here, or possibly creating a Dunbar/Springs website. www.thedunbarproject.com this is where i live (and have been living for on and off for over a year now....

studying stones

i am out here studying stones
trying to learn to be less alive
using all of my will
to keep very still
still even on the inside

i've cut all of the pertinent wires
so my eyes can't make that connection
i am holding my breath
i am feigning my death
when i'm looking in your direction

'course numb is an old hat
old as my oldest memories
see that one's my mother
and that one's my father
and that one in the hat, that's me
it's a skill i'd hoped to abandon
when i got out on the open road
but any more pent up emotion
and i think i'm gonna explode

there's never been an endeavor so strange
as trying to slow the blood in my veins
to keep my face blank as a stone that just sank
until not a ripple remains

i am high above the tree line
sitting cross legged on the ground
when all of the forbidden fruit has fallen and rotted
that's when i'm gonna come down

'course numb is an old hat
old as my oldest memories
see that one's my mother
and that one's my father
and that one in the hat, that's me

it's a skill i'd hoped to abandon
when i got out on the open road
but any more pent up emotion
and i think i'm gonna explode

by the time, any one of you has read this, i will have left new york city. this is my last night. at the radisson JFK.

i'm not sure what to say except that it's incredibly clear to myself that before i can do any sort of uprising in my life... i need to set myself free. and i am heading back to arizona in the morning to find out - either way. and either way is okay with me... as long as it is honest.

i spent last night at coney island with my new friend from the city, Jackie. coney in itself, the amusement rides... sorta a long running joke i'm sure... but there were kids screaming... and families enjoying themselves... so i can't knock a cheap time...

but then there was the ocean. the sandy beaches and the ocean. jackie and i smoking in the middle of the night. jackie doesn't know i was crying as she slept on my shoulder on the D train heading back into manhattan. jackie doesn't know how horribly i'll miss her.

kevin doesn't know how horribly i will miss him. and manhattan... well... new york just has no clue to what extent i wish i were of a mind i could do this right now in my life.

so to all of you out there rooting for me... still do it. i need it (we all do). and i love you all as much as ever. keep your chins up babies.