the interview yesterday went really well. i have a second interview on the 10th. it's funny how your life changes. i'm hardly reconizable to myself, sometimes. sure, i still have all the bizarre and strange quirks about myself that irritate me, yet make me love myself... those are still all there. just, the way things are approached... thought out, and processed are a bit different then they used to be.

i love watering the yard. learning the plants, and about the plants. relocating them for better sun, etc. frog and i (the girl who lives out back) walked through them today. i've walked through with frog and ed so far. they all tell me about the plants, and are exicted when i want to know about them. the green world.

i am fine. "my life is working better now. it all was changing, anyhow..."

today is teletech day. ugh. i'm at the library doing my resume. god help me. please don't make me work at denny's for the rest of my life. i'm not that bad of a person, i swear to god. i love cats, kids, nature. i support feminists, and humanitarians; both to the best of my abilities... GIVE ME THIS JOB! i gotta go... i'm stress-ed.

is caffene addictive? why shouldn't it be. love and hate and good and bad attitudes... not to mention cigarettes and sex and alcohol and lots of drugs, and family and lack of family all are... so why not caffene? i wonder if there isn't a better word than addiction? do we overuse the word? do we misuse the word? is it a word that is wildly known and used, an inside the box word, that we all can use no matter our intellectual capacity, or rather, not capacity, but what intellect our lazy selves have chosen to use? curious...

joanna arrives in 3 days. viva las vegas babeeeeee!!!! i think seth, jo, and myself are all excited for this. it's a great break in the monotony and sounds like fun to me. it's also a chance to show off the new found okayness inside of this relationship. hasn't always been represented by both parties as an okay and supportive one. it's certaintly taken it's toll... the rumor is that it all comes around again...

hopefully not all of it comes around again. i think mostly life is a bitch, and a good attitude goes along way. this close up look at all that i do not have, or could have better is overwhelming, and really everything is fine. if not, a little under developed. better usages of time. energy up.

the house is comming along sort of like a sick snail. very slowly.

i talked to mom today. uncle bill is ripping the shed off of grams house, and building some rooms back there, and new cupboards and etc.... they're really fixing it up for her (sounds like they're getting ready to sell it...). gram of course, is terrified by the change, but i think in the long run she will dig it. i hope so.

today is mom and jose's anniversery. i think it's 3 years, but i'm unsure. they're going out to eat. jesus 3 years! wow...

what is up with this love thing? i don't any longer understand it. sometimes it feels so lucky to have, and others it feels such a burden... it's the fade in fade out? i should watch what i say, if i'm only just having a fade out moment?

we are so unevolved, really. shouldn't we know this? but i wonder, if we did have these answers... what then?

niko is over here spouting about how great the madonna concert in lauderdale was (the write up on the show was that madonna had low energy coz the crowd sucked... the first night anyway, the second night they had gotten better, so she gave a bit more... to be a diva)... and then kevin's over here drooling about the clay aiken conert last night in portland. well you know what? i'm not even overtly thrilled about clay aiken news (the man has pipes - i will not even pretend to deny...) but... I WANNA SEE A SHOW, dammit. preferably madonna over clay, but hell... i'd take mariah at this point... giggle. kidding.

uh... all is well. jo is comming down. her, the boy, and i, are going to vegas, babee... i'm all sorts of excited about that, and i know seth is too! jo's estatic and needs a break. she's fighting the good fight up north (finally, i can say that... i believe in her plight, and actually understand it).

the house is an incredible task. always something to do... and then even more. i got sunburnt doing yard work yesterday... well worth it, because every muscle in my body hurts and i've got a sunburn. ....why is that well worth it?

"...though it shocks them, i know!"