JUST GAVE MY 30 DAY NOTICE TO MOVE!!

gave my notice to move out yesterday.. that was kind of crazy. lots of emotions but basically it comes down to that i'm happy to be moving. it's super crazy that i wont be living here anymore... more on that later, i guess.

i've got lucy for a week and she's very cute with her over sized squeeky bone!

other than that, i'm pretty exhausted and i don't want to go to work. blah.

less work. more puppy cuddle time.

NIGHTSPAZZING

never fails. as of late anyhow... i think it's a side effect of not smoking. perhaps another decade coming to a close? so many possible things it could be but i cannot fall asleep anymore!

so as i sit here waiting for the tylenol pm to kick in...

i am 10 days away from orientation.

i will have a new room which i'll move myself and jake and sirius into.

i will have a roommate.

i will be taking classes.

i will have a new work schedule.

i will be doing my clinicals at a real hospital with real people.

it's all so much more far beyond my realm of comprehension right now.

i may never sleep again!

i know i know... breath in, breath out... repeat.

MOVING.

i look around at my apartment where i have lived for like almost 4 years. insanity. it's becoming very real that i'm actually moving.

i'd be lying if i didn't say i was wildly optimistic about my future. i'd also be lying if i didn't say i wasn't thrilled to be leaving this apartment. it's a cool place and it holds so many memories. some good ones and kind of a lot of bad ones.

it feels like a trapping that was once necessary and is now not. i think i've myself to blame. stagnate.

i'm ready to move. goodbye pennington street. one more month.

BETTER THAN THE WAY THINGS WERE

Here is one that i wrote. Kinda how i feel latley.

Change breaks through the night
Fierce like a light
Tears of fears that fell before
Remain only stains on some dirty floor

In some place somebody else can live
and never notice the damaged walls
they can laugh and drink and love
and never even know we were here at all…

Instead of
tears falling from
eyes of hurt…
The way things are can be…
Better than the…
Better than the…
Better then the way things were
Yes…
Better then the.. better then the…
Better then the way things were…

Some people can look and see
I hope that’s me
How can we change to save our lives?
How can we generate our own lights?

Somebody with their drink on
In a bar, eyes far away…
lover at home with the tv on
Who said it has to be that way…

Instead of
wondering and
never sure…
The way things are can be…
Better than the…
Better than the…
Better then the way things were
Yes…
Better then the.. better then the…
Better then the way things were…

Cars stopping in the dead of night
Out on empty streets…
The radio on and the doors wide open
dancing close like when folks first meet

and instead of
fading out
into some blur
the way we are can be…
better than the… better then the…
better then the way things were
yeah.. yeah…

better then the
so much better then the
better then the way things were…
END © ARRFBC November 6, 2009

SLEEPING PILLS AND NEEDLES. YIKES.

wow, thank god for tylenol PM. i'm pretty sure i got like 7 hours of sleep last night. i needed it. in other news about to call the clinic about all the shots for the nursing prog. i seriously do not want to do this. i hate shots. hate. hate. hate.

i suppose i could just live like this forever instead. um... nah!

UPDATE: health dept. closed. it's a holiday. good morning, lol

LIKE 3.5 HOURS SLEEP

no sleep @ all last night. just not a very good weekend. also i gave up coffee for green tea which may or may not have more caffiene than coffee.. depends on what you read.

i have to work and i don't want to. i'm a whiney mess today.