My next 30 years...

i've had these little photo books - pastel neons sorta... they're supposed to compress all of your photo albums into these childrens book size squash-ness, so that your entire life seems small - but bright, apparently...

well, today was the day that i moved all of my photos into these books. i'm kinda cleaning out my closet i guess... putting all of my songs and poetry i've written on paper onto the computer... photo's in albums... bulky albums into skinny albums... that sorta thing....

looking back over my life - my emotions went flying in every direction imaginable. feeling alone in this big world is just absurd, really. it seems, we are as connected as we wish to be.

called up jo and we talked about the baby.

mom told me she'd talked to jerry, yesterday.

gram seems to be walking and living again.

...spent the first 30 years of my life looking at myself thru other's eyes. i mostly got it wrong about myself... and it made me so self-concious that it's ridiculous...

i think in the next 30 years... i'm going to try to look at them through my eyes.

the kid in the pictures seems to be doing alright. wonder what he'd have to say to me now?

30... i have 5 more months. that's it. just 5 months.